I think pumpkin pie is mostly a really good excuse for eating a pile of whipped cream.

I have to work today, which I think I'd prefer to battling the crowds on the busiest shopping day of the year. Still, it feels a little like being a child who's forced to stay indoors while all the other kids are out playing.

I've decided to avoid eating anything sweet for a couple of days to offset Thursday's inevitable indulgences. But I just remembered that a group I'm getting together with tonight usually has a dessert of some sort, so it will take an extra measure of will power to stick to my resolve. Oh, man, I just hope there isn't chocolate involved....

The actual words that appear in a card I found in the juvenile section of Hallmark's 99-cent card line:

It's, like, your birthday, so I'm, like, Happy Birthday!

Unbelievable.

With the holiday season prematurely in full swing, I can't shake a certain sense of dread: it's probably only a matter of days before I'll be subjected to "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree."

Some friends from my Sunday school class are putting together a party for the class this weekend. I was a little apprehensive, because they'd been talking about playing a form of "The Newlywed Game," and I figured I'd feel out of place as the lone single among couples. So I sent an e-mail asking if that was still the plan, and received this reassuring response: "We're going to have other games too, like couples' figure skating, synchronized swimming, doubles tennis, the usual group activities."

Oh, sure, now I feel better.

Is it just me, or is holiday merchandise out earlier than ever this year? I can kind of understand people wanting to start shopping early, but does anyone really want eggnog ice cream in early November? (Or anytime at all, for that matter?)

Congratulations, proud Dad David Letterman!

A guy I’ve known for years, but never been involved with, surprised me by inviting me out to a restaurant we discovered we both liked. After he extended the invitation, I wondered, Is this a date or just getting together as friends? After all, I’d known him for nine years, which seemed like plenty of time for him to determine whether or not he had any romantic interest.

The evidence went back and forth as I tried to determine whether or not our dinner together would qualify as a date:

• He asked for directions to my house, rather than suggesting we meet at the restaurant—Date
  
• His schedule was booked Friday and Saturday, so he was only available on Sunday or a weeknight—Not a date
  
• He gave me his home phone and regular e-mail address, “for future reference” (I’d only had his work e-mail before)—Date
  
• He showed up in faded jeans and an oversized shirt—Not a date
  
• He told me I looked nice (in my date-appropriate outfit)—Date
  
• He talked a lot about sports—Neither category; just typical guy behavior
  
• He referred to our evening as “a chance to get to know each other better”—Date
  

Then, as if to illustrate the puzzling nature of the evening, he walked me only halfway to my door before saying goodnight. Looking back on the whole thing, I’m not even sure if he knew whether it was supposed to be a date or not.