My favorite quote regarding Phoenix's gas shortage comes from our governor, who will go down in history for saying, "When you need to go to a gas station there needs to be gas there."

A friend was shopping for candles in a bargain store, and came across one prominently labeled Aromatherapy. In smaller letters, underneath, was a single word: Unscented. No wonder it was a bargain.

A PR Director who interviewed me for a job defined the reasoning behind his hospital’s emphasis on employee satisfaction: “We figure if employees are happy, our patients are going to be happy.” Since my interviewer had a casual style and had already displayed a sense of humor, I decided to draw a clever parallel: “Sort of like securing your own oxygen mask before assisting your child,” I said, quoting every flight attendant I’ve every heard. He responded with a blank look, and adopted the most serious tone of the entire interview when he said, “Oh, I think I’d help my child first.”

So on “David Letterman” tonight, Paul Schaefer applied the same illustration to something Dave said, and drew loud applause and cheers from the audience. At least somebody got the joke.

It was 109 degrees at 9:00 tonight. Maybe I'll just stay indoors until October.

Why do they ask "What's you biggest weakness?" during job interviews? I can understand why they want to know, but do they think we're really going to tell them?

One of my friends saw a flash while driving in an area monitored by photo radar, and is worried she's going to receive a ticket in the mail. She was speeding, but not excessively. She probably won't have to pay a fine, since I've heard that Municipal Court doesn't send tickets for smaller violations. I think it's the photo radar system's way of letting you off with a warning.

My dentist has given me an extra-soft toothbrush (he calls it my "homework") during my last two appointments. Now that I've become used to the extra-soft bristles, anything else feels like I'm brushing my teeth with steel wool. But the toothbrushes only last a few months, and are virtually impossible to replace unless I'm willing to resort to a miniature Barbie or Bob the Builder brush. Even an on-line search was unfruitful, though I did uncover an impressive assortment of options. Ergonomic Handle. Dual Action. Technique Quad Grip. Cross Action Vitalizer. I had to check to make sure I was looking at toothbrushes, and not workout equipment.

Ghostwriting bugs me, especially now that I’m aware of how prevalent it is. I used to think if someone's signature appeared at the bottom of a published article or letter, he/she at least had a part in writing the thing. But now that I’ve written for a CEO (whom I knew only vaguely) and a mayor (whom I’d observed once at a public function, but never actually met), I realize there’s a lot of writing out there that doesn’t even remotely reflect the thoughts of the person it’s supposedly coming from. Maybe it doesn’t really matter, because this is just the sort of writing nobody reads. When was the last time you took time to look at the introductory letter of an annual report?