Doing publications can be a thankless job. I've conducted readership surveys, brought in a consultant for a series of focus group meetings, and quizzed co-workers in casual conversations about their likes and dislikes for our employee newsletter. I've responded to their requests -- cut the boring features, added helpful ones, threw in graphics to keep it interesting. So yesterday, in the middle of what was already a particularly hectic, stress-filled day, someone mentioned that people think the newsletter is a "fluff piece."

Of course, employees tend to be notorious whiners.

Why do the small Frito's taste better than the large ones? Aren't they made out of the same thing?

A guest speaker who delivered the sermon at my church yesterday told a great story: A century ago, a shabbily dressed couple walked into an office at Harvard University and asked to see the president. Unimpressed with their appearance, a secretary tried to turn the pair away by explaining that the president was a very busy man. But the couple waited patiently -- for four hours -- until the president finally agreed to see them.

The couple explained that their son had attended Harvard for one year, but had died before he could complete his education. He had loved the school, and his parents wanted to fund construction of a campus building in his memory. The president, eyeing the woman's faded gingam dress and the man's rumpled suit, explained in a condescending tone that buildings were very expensive, and that Harvard had $7.5 million worth of them. The woman looked at her husband and asked, "Is that all it costs to start a University?" So Leland and Jane Stanford took their money to Palo Alto, California, to begin a university there.

Great story. Even better if it were true. In fact, according to the Stanford University website, Leland Jr. died as a teenager, while the family was living in Italy. After the couple returned to the United States, they talked with Harvard's president about three ideas: a university at Palo Alto, a large institution in San Francisco combining a lecture hall and a museum, and a technical school. Asked which of these seemed most desirable, the president answered, a university. Apparently, the Stanfords founded the Palo Alto university with Harvard's full blessing.

Where do these Preachers' Urban Legends come from, anyway?

I just tried the new Diet Coke With Lemon for the first time. I felt like I was drinking a glass of Lemon Pledge.

Russ has created an Arizona Temperature Conversion chart, to which I respond, har-dee-har.

Okay, so I have a space heater that sits under my desk, and I'll admit I use it in the summertime. But only because most Phoenicians think that anytime it's 100-plus degrees outside, it shouldn't be more than 50 degrees inside. But this morning it was genuinely cold -- 30-some degrees -- outside when I left for work, and I shamelessly donned a heavy winter coat and gloves for the drive to the office.

But I know the chill won't last. People from other places remark that they wouldn't like living in Phoenix, because they'd miss the seasons. But I beg to differ. We have winter, spring and fall, as well as summer. Just don't blink, or you'll miss them.

This morning’s office discussions so far:
- The 122nd anniversary (today) of the battle of the Battle of Isandhlwana
- Last night’s Frasier rerun
- The abundance of music videos that feature a love-lorn woman singing at the end of a long, narrow hallway
- The fact that Buffy the Vampire Slayer videos are overpriced at $30 a set

We’re celebrating Low Productivity Day around here.

Friends tease me about my binge-and-purge shopping habits. I buy, return, buy, return, buy.... (Well, every once in a while, I do keep something.) The jacket doesn't go with anything, the skirt looks too much like something I already have, the shoes seemed more comfortable when I tried them on in the store. Once I even returned a house.

I'd been house-hunting for months, and felt discouraged by the high price of anything I really liked. At my realtor's repeated suggestion, I began exploring a historic district that was supposedly turning around, though sagging roofs and ragged lawns suggested a slow transformation. I found a charming 1940 home that fell within my price range, swallowed my nervousness, and bought it. It didn't take long for regret to set in.

My attempts to research the area beforehand had revealed nothing alarming. But right after I'd signed the forms committing myself to 30 years worth of mortgage payments, I ran across an article about the high number of break-ins in the neighborhood. A neighbor told me about the area's high drug use, advising me to check the outbuilding behind my house for used needles. And men who drove by while I worked in the yard whistled and honked without reservation as they passed.

I clearly owned a house in the 'hood. I never moved in, and thankfully was able to sell the house to my realtor a few months later.

I am the Return Queen.

Lake Superior State University has released its annual List of Words Banished from the Queen's English for Mis-Use, Over-Use and General Uselessness. Some of my favorites fell in the business/tech category:
- Brainstorm
- Synergy
- Ramp Up
- Edgy
- 'Bots

I'd add a few phrases of my own to the list:
- On the Same Page
- Time Frame
- Best Practice

Who decided we should all talk like mindless robots (excuse me, 'bots) when we settle into the business world?

One of my co-workers has several sets of magnetic poetry (promotional gifts from various vendors) stuck to the front of her file cabinet. One pieced-together sentence stands out among the rest: "Yes, we can cook DNA samples." That, combined with the fact that she considers frozen meat to be the perfect murder weapon (you can eat the weapon afterward), makes me reluctant to turn my back on her.

Death by leg of lamb? Not so appealing.

Post-Holiday Diet, Day 2:
Didn't I read somewhere that the average American gains eight pounds over the holidays? So I guess I don't feel too bad about having to shed a bit of weight now that my Christmas decorations are back in boxes.

I've decided that it's much easier to cut the calories when I'm cooking for myself than when I'm going out. I was thinking about heading to Baja Fresh for lunch today, with the "Mexican Grill" descriptor suggesting that I'd be able to eat a healthy meal there. Just to be sure, I checked the nutrition section of their website before heading out. Turns out my "usual," a bean burrito with chicken, has 1052 calories and 35 grams of fat. Granted, Baja Fresh burritos are the size of a small kitchen appliance, but 1000-plus calories?! Why not just go for a Big Mac? Or a deep-fried hot fudge sundae, for that matter? But, will power still strong, I headed instead to Subway for a roast chicken sandwich and baked Lay's.

Sigh.